How To Rob an Internet Cafe…(Internet cafe owners, don’t read!)

1. Google up the web and type in “How To Rob an Internet Cafe” or how to steal the hard earned computers of icafe owners who thinks burglars only exist on their regular evening news.

 2. Select an area, a baranggay or a town that has no case of Internet cafe burglary for the past year, this way owners will not be on high alert. Especially new icafe owners who made the security of their shop the last item on their “To Think” checklist. Better yet… they totally forgot about it!

3. Make a list of all icafe in you selected area. Rank them from the least secured to the most secured, then ofcourse ransak the least secured.

To do this, you basically need to do two things

– First check the icafe’s environment (soroundings, location, setup etc).

– Second check the icafe’s open and closing schedules, so you’ll know when to take the cheeze ;p


– Select an icafe that has no “stay-in” or someone who sleeps inside.

– Select an icafe that has no nearby resedential houses.

– No nearby street lights or any lights at all (if you plan to do it at night).

– Straight road to have a fast escape

– With parking area outside so that you could easily park your Van or container truck (for easy loading of your loots).

– Heres an interesting part, choose an internet cafe that has a roll-up gate. You can easily break in with this type of gate as compared to a gate that slides sideward.

– Ofcourse, select the one with few padlocks or those with cheap easy to destroy padlocks. Hmm.. on second thought, padlocks don’t matter even those expensive padlocks as long as you have your handy bolt cutter!

– Avoid those that have their CPU units bolted on the table, unless you have a truck and enough man power to lift the whole table with the computers on it!

– Avoid those that have seamingly authentic warning stickers saying “Warning! Security Devices Installed”. you’ll never know if its a bluff or if it is real. Why take the risk? Surely there are others out there who doesn’t put any annoying warning messages like that!

– Avoid those that have their padlocks inside their gates, wherein your bolt cutter cannot reach! That would be too hard to breakin. Especially Chazper’s icafe… how in the world did he manage to put padlocks on the inside of his sliding gate while he is on the outside!? And then unlocks them from the outside! He must be a magician or a freack’n genious!

Now, if you are an internet cafe owner reading this I know you are wise enough to understand that this is just reverse psychology. This is to inculcate in your mind the importance of security. All of the above lessons were sadly learned by a fellow icafe owner of mine. All of his CPU’s were stolen including his aircon, what were left were his monitors… maybe the burglars ran out of time and space on their truck.. One thing that I was so dissapointed about was when I learned that he only had one 45 pesos padlock on his gate that day! A cheap 45 peso padlock that should have secured his two hundred thousand business!

What a sad story… whose lesson was not learned by another icafe owner near that area who suffered the same fate a year after that incident (well… can’t totally blame that gal ‘coz she’s just a newbie).

So I’m writing this down, whether your a new internet cafe owner or not.. this is for you. So if you do get rob, you wont blame anyone other than your own stupid carelessness. Too harsh? Get over it and protect your precious internet cafe… NOW! 😛